Overcome the Fear of Success

By Anastasiya Goers,

“He is able who thinks he is able.” ~Buddha

How would you answer the question: “Are you successful in life?”

I know many people who would say that they are not successful; at least they have not reached success in the areas that feel important to them. I have been one of those people.

One day I asked myself “What keeps me from being successful?” It took me a while to come up with the answer but I realized that I was holding myself back.

Why? Well, maybe I was afraid that when I started something I would fail. Maybe I was afraid that I was not “one of those people” who get everything they go after. Maybe I felt that I didn’t deserve success in life.

The truth is that I didn’t believe that I was able. I was not able to be successful, able to be happy, or able to fully enjoy my life. Does this scenario sound familiar to you?

If you want to be truly successful in life (and who doesn’t?) then first of all you have to learn to believe in yourself. If you do not think that you can be successful, then who will?

Life success does not mean that you will not fail but it means that your mistakes will teach you something and show you a better way to get what you want.

These are the tips that have helped me get over the fear of being successful and finally believe in myself:

1. Be positive.

Negative thoughts are like Miracle Grow for fear and self-doubt. Stay away from negative people and you will decrease the amount of negativity in your life at least by half.

Practice daily gratitude, write down all the positive events in your life, practice mindfulness and you will notice how your negative attitude will start melting away.

2. Continually remind yourself that you are part of something larger than you.

Fear often has to do with worrying about uncertainty, feeling out of control, and wondering what your life’s purpose is. When you realize you are part of a bigger picture, even if you don’t fully understand what that is, it’s easier to ascertain that you both deserve and need to be successful and happy.

You do the right things, you help people around you, you make being  a good person a priority, and you know that this isn’t just about you—it’s also about the bigger picture that you’re part of. These thoughts always give me the courage to try something new and believe that my life is successful because of the doing, not the outcome.

3. Take time to find your authenticity.

Do you have a lot on you? I’m sure you do, and I know that you are doing your best at doing what you have to do. But do you know who you are? Do you know what makes you happy? Do you know your passions?

Do you take time to reflect on your life and figure out your purpose in this world? Unfortunately, most of us get so caught up in responsibilities and goals that we forget to enjoy our lives.

No matter how busy you are, you must make time for yourself. It can be just 10 minutes a day, but this time must belong to you. If you give yourself the luxury of free time then you will notice that the rest of your responsibilities will get easier.

You will be a better parent. You will be able to come up with creative ideas at work (and finally get that promotion.) You will be able to take better care of your health. You will reduce your stress and experience the joy of living.

4. Create your success library.

Sometimes when we lose trust in ourselves we just need a little bit of inspiration to push us in the right direction. There are plenty of ways to find inspiration, but we forget about them when we need them the most.

Create a library of quotes, save articles and success stories that have inspired you, create a library of inspiring movies and videos, or create an album of your fun and happy memories. Turn to this library whenever you have self doubts.

5. Learn.

People are always scared of what they don’t know. My first job was in a web development company. I was scared to death during my first day at work because I didn’t know anything about web and blogs and the words CSS and PHP seemed like medical terms for lethal diseases. I was forced to learn about everything and now I feel absolutely at ease online.

If you have a fear of something you just have to educate yourself about it. It is like walking into a dark room. At first you feel scared and don’t know what to expect but once you turn the light on, everything gets clear and simple.

6. Live in balance.

No matter how important success might seem to you, it is still important to follow it with balance; otherwise your journey towards success will turn into an obsession that will ruin everything that you truly love in life.

Success is not a destination. It’s a journey, and it’s important that we take each step feeling grounded and balanced. Spend time with your loved ones, enjoy your hobby or follow your passion, take care of your health and grow spiritually. This is the meaning of true success, the one that you can achieve only in balance.

I think that you are able to be successful. It is your right and purpose in life to be successful in whatever you are doing. If you believe in that then nothing will ever stop you from living a balanced and joyous life.

Discovering Your Purpose and Reaching Your Potential

By Jazmin Treadway,

The word “capacity” has many definitions. It can be summarized as the maximum measure of innate potential and the ability to understand and demonstrate one’s optimal capability and power in a specified role.

Ultimately, capacity is your gauge of purpose and potential. How much is in you? How much are you utilizing, and how much is untapped?

The capacity of a storage item—how much it can hold—depends upon size, depth, sturdiness, adaptability, and intended purpose.

These ideas are relevant to us in determining how we can fulfill the true longing of our hearts, continue to push the limits of our fears, and boldly meet our own capabilities for living well.

Size is the expanse of our dreams and visions for our lives—the boundaries we see or do not. Depth is the infiniteness of our soul’s desires and our connection to something deeper.

Sturdiness pertains to the strength of our resolution and integrity—the beliefs that sustain us in spite of everything. Adaptability is how willingly we are to follow our own paths and deal with uncharted territory.

An intended purpose—that’s when we know without a doubt what we believe we were made to do. Then it’s not a matter of how, but rather how soon.  How soon will you wait to step into this perfect fit, this divine capacity?

It’s a funny thing about purpose: Once you know it truly and completely, you are invincible, because no one can stop you from living your design.  It is your birthright, your gift from and to the universe and to humanity.

Six years ago, my current life and future destiny collided in a classroom at the University of Southern California. Sitting amidst my collegiate peers, I listened to a graduate student speaking about a career in occupational therapy.

To most, including me, it was your typical professional spiel, and I must admit that I listened halfheartedly at best.  It wasn’t until about a year later, stalled by circumstance, that I found my way back to that memory.

In revisiting the topic with a new mindset, I saw what I had missed before. Before me was a golden opportunity to serve my distinct purpose in this world. I was fortunate enough this second time around to have the clarity, courage, and wherewithal to step out of my life and re-route.

That was when I realized that occupational therapy was my calling.

The reflection on my own capacity came to me one morning as I plugged my iPod into my computer.  It was only 1/8th full, revealing a vast and seemingly endless potential for media storage.

I wondered how often we walk around like our iPods—either underutilizing our potential for wisdom, love, passion, and desire, choosing to operate at only a small fraction of our capacity; or perhaps, even worse, unaware that in harnessing and storing the right information, we can learn to maximize our lives to fulfill our potential and promise.

What I came to realize is that, despite everything, capacity itself is not flexible. Rather, it is determined and measured in relation to what goes in, how much space things take up, and how much is left for everything else.

This means that no matter how much potential we have holding on to the right things, by holding on to the wrong things, we take up vital space and give the illusion of limitations.

Unfortunately, we have all fallen victim to external viewpoints, social pressures, public opinion, and private criticisms. We allow those thoughts to inhabit our minds, often leaving us feeling exhausted, drained, and far below a functional capacity for this life and its challenges.

We are left drowning in the negative self-talk, stuck among the constant comparisons and envy, the “why me” questions, the stifling fears, and the seemingly paralyzing self-doubt.  All these things ultimately deplete our energy and keep us stuck in dissatisfaction.

We must understand that our whispering instincts and subtle longings can create a surplus of love and passion if we learn to listen to them.

We must recognize the things, people, and situations that rob us of our ability to do more and invest more.

We must give ourselves permission to let go—to release the people and things that hold us back and cloud our minds, hearts, and souls with inefficient thoughts, behaviors, and energies.

And we must instead embrace self-love, wisdom, hope, passion, beauty, creativity, and simplicity so that we may determine our true capacity and live life to the fullest.

Happiness results when an understanding of intention and design meets a commitment to living out that purpose.

Then we can just allow the knowledge that this is what we we’re made for to guide our hearts, souls, thoughts, and hands.

When we understand our talents and potential and follow our internal compass, it’s a lot easier to stay self-assured when dealing with challenges.

I see this so clearly now as I look back on that life-changing and decisive moment.  Two years into my career as a pediatric Occupational Therapist, working daily with children with Autism, I know that I am operating at full capacity.

My work fills me with unbounded love, joy, and passion, and it constantly challenges my perspective on the world.

I have no doubt that I can continue to make my mark on this world if I continue to follow my intuition and passions. We are all in the midst of a journey, and it is never too late to turn around, re-calculate, and pursue what you believe to be your destiny.

So I ask you: Are you limiting yourself or operating at full capacity? If not, where does your heart lead you, and what steps can you take today to start heading there?

What Are You Worth? By Alexander Heyne

By Alexander Heyne

Have you ever worked a job where you were grossly overqualified or underpaid?

I once had a job where I was getting paid $12/hour for doing stuff that I thought I liked.

I was working in a field very closely aligned with what I wanted to do in the future, and I had access to all kinds of experts that I could talk with.

At the start, I thought it was great; I was young, the pay was tax free, and it was my first job after a long absence from the United States.

But as time wore on, I was using all kinds of skills that, in their respective marketplaces, fetched much more than $12 an hour. I was suddenly doing tech work and website alterations, newsletter creations, and online marketing.

I still thought nothing of it because I was learning and helping my employer.

One night I was eating dinner with a friend who sowed the seed of something insidious in my head:

She said, “Are you serious? You should be getting paid three times what you are for what you’re doing. They are paying you to be a secretary essentially—not to do web design and marketing. That’s absurd. And that’s not what they hired you for.”

I went home that night and couldn’t sleep. Am I worth $12 an hour? Or am I worth more? What am I worth? Should I demand more pay or just quit?

I didn’t realize it then, but I willfully decided I was not going to be happy at work from then on. I spontaneously decided I was worth much more than $12 an hour—but instead of quitting, I stayed and felt indignant about being devalued.

That day I realized something pretty significant about being content in life: it’s about what you think you’re worth and how you respond when you feel you’re not getting what you deserve.

People who feel like they deserve a lot in life can end up feeling unhappy if they think they’re not getting a lot.

People who feel like they deserve nothing can find themselves in situations that reinforce their low worth—which can also lead to unhappiness.

I pondered this “being content” thing for a couple days. I realized that even if I was making a six-figure salary (more than I needed), but still felt like I deserved more, I wouldn’t be happy.

Clearly this wasn’t logic running the show.

I realized that the mind is a special thing; it has the ability to put you through hell day after day. It also has the power to set you free.

The day I questioned what “I was worth” I chose to poison my daily work until I felt so dissatisfied that I quit several months later.

Through this experience, I learned a few important things about myself and being content in daily life:

Other people rarely have control over how “content” we feel about our lives.

Nothing changed in my job except for the belief that I should be unhappy with how much I was getting paid—even though I felt satisfied before someone else suggested I shouldn’t be.

Focusing on getting “what we deserve” can end up making us unhappy if it limits us from recognizing value in what we have.

Sometimes we don’t get the results we want right away, but we find the process enjoyable and we’re learning from it. That’s worth something.

That being said, we are only worth as much as we think we are.

If you feel that other people aren’t valuing you, take a look inside and recognize whether or not you’re valuing yourself.

If you think you’re worth $12 an hour, you likely won’t strive for more. If you think you’re worth more than that, you’ll work to confirm that belief.

Next time you feel dissatisfied with your work or life and find yourself thinking you deserve more than you’re getting, asking yourself:

What do you believe you’re worth? Is there some value in where you are right now? And lastly, are your thoughts about your worth limiting your ability to enjoy the present and work toward the future?