Monday, October 31, 2011

Know Your value

By Anonymous

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a Rupee 500 note. 

In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this Rupee 500 note?"

Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this note to one of you, but first let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the note up.

He then asked, "Who still wants it?"  Still the hands were up in the air.

"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth Rupee 500/-.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless.

But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.

You are special. Don't ever forget it! Never let yesterday's disappointments  overshadow tomorrow's dreams.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

10 Guidelines from god

By Anonymous

Effective Immediately, please be aware that there are changes YOU need to make in YOUR life. These changes need to be completed in order that I may fulfill My promises to you to grant you peace, joy and happiness in this life. I apologize for any inconvenience, but after all that I am doing, this seems very little to ask of you. Please, follow these 10 guidelines:


Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you? Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing that comes your way? 


Something needs done or taken care of. Put it on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care of the problem. I can't help you until you turn it over to Me. And although My to-do-list is long, I am after all... God. I can take care of anything you put into My hands. In fact, if the truth were ever really known, I take care of a lot of things for you that you never even realize.


Once you've given your burdens to Me, quit trying to take them back. Trust in Me. Have the faith that I will take care of all your needs, your problems and your trials. Problems with the kids? Put them on My list. Problem with finances? Put it on My list. Problems with your emotional roller coaster For My sake, put it on My list. I want to help you. All you have to do is ask.


Don't wake up one morning and say, "Well, I'm feeling much stronger now, I think I can handle it from here." Why do you think you are feeling stronger now? It's simple. You gave Me your burdens and I'm taking care of them. I also renew your strength and cover you in my peace. Don't you know that if I give you these problems back, you will be right back where you started? Leave them with Me and forget about them. Just let Me do my job.


I want you to forget a lot of things. Forget what was making you crazy. Forget the worry and the fretting because you know I'm in control. But there's one thing I pray you never forget. Please, don't forget to talk to Me - OFTEN! I love YOU! I want to hear your voice. I want you to include Me in on the things going on in your life. I want to hear you talk about your friends and family. Prayer is simply you having a conversation with Me. I want to be your dearest friend.


I see a lot of things from up here that you can't see from where you are. Have faith in Me that I know what I'm doing. Trust Me; you wouldn't want the view from My eyes. I will continue to care for you, watch over you, and meet your needs. You only have to trust Me. Although I have a much bigger task than you, it seems as if you have so much trouble just doing your simple part - How hard can trust be?

7. SHARE: 

You were taught to share when you were only two years old. When did you forget? That rule still applies. Share with those who are less fortunate than you. Share your joy with those who need encouragement. Share your laughter with those who haven't heard any in such a long time. Share your tears with those who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faith with those who have none.


I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime you could have so many diverse experiences. You grow from a child to an adult, have children, change jobs many times, learn many trades, travel to so many places, meet thousands of people, and experience so much. How can you be so impatient then when it takes Me a little longer than you expect to handle something on My to-do-list? Trust in My timing, for My timing is perfect. Just because I created the entire universe in only six days, everyone thinks I should always rush, rush, rush.


Be kind to others, for I love them just as much as I love you. They may not dress like you, or talk like you, or live the same way you do, but I still love you all. Please try to get along, for My sake. I created each of you different in some way. It would be too boring if you were all identical. Please, know I love each of your differences. 


As much as I love you, how can you not love yourself? You were created by me for one reason only -- to be loved, and to love in return. I am a God of Love. Love Me. Love your neighbors. But also love yourself. It makes My heart ache when I see you so angry with yourself when things go wrong. You are very precious to me. Don't ever forget.....

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Four Ways To Spot Reduced Trust

By Steve Roesler
We're all looking for trusting relationships to build a strong foundation for our businesses, careers, or favorite cause.

When things don't "feel" right at a gut level it's easy to say, "Let's do a survey and find out if something is going on with our customer/employee/donor relationships." That's both expensive and time consuming. By the time you get the results, here's what has happened:

1. The fact that people have participated in a survey automatically raises the expectation that something different is going to happen as a result. If nothing different happens, then trust diminishes.

2. People expect to at least hear the results. Again: if the results aren't shared, people wonder why they spent their time and energy trying to be helpful. And, they wonder what was so horrendous that it couldn't be discussed. A double-dip of trust reduction.

3. Unless you do a survey quickly and then respond quickly with the results, enough time will have passed that the issues impacting the survey may no longer be relevant.

Trust: Diagnose This!

It's helpful to learn to recognize for yourself the signs that things aren't quite right in the "trust" department. You can do an accurate diagnosis as the first step to getting back on track with your relationships--on and off the job.

Hedging Their Bets

Hedging is placing a bet elsewhere so that if a current proposal or situation fails, people have other alternatives. That certainly makes sense on the surface. The problem is that hedging becomes a distraction. It takes a lot of time for people to develop a Plan B. If you think about such instances in your own life, the alternative can start to look more interesting than the current assignment. The result:  You begin to see people putting less effort into the work at hand. 

Lesson: When you see people talking more about options that protect themselves vs. actions that achieve the communal goal, you are seeing a lack of confidence and trust.
Emotional Distance
Confession: When I don't trust someone, the easiest thing to do is to minimize my contact with them. The payoff is this: I reduce the risk of betrayal, hurt, or other consequences of failed trust.

When a person distances one's self themselves from their  work relationships, they aren't fully engaged. They may be occupied in task-oriented work 100% of time but they aren't contributing with their full potential. 

Lesson: If you are a manager and see someone operating in this way, it's time for a quiet talk. That means: Listen. Start off by relating what you see and asking what could be getting in the way of the potential that you've seen demonstrated in the past. Be prepared: It may be you. Listen and hear what is being said. Whatever the issue, thank the person and allow that you need some time to ponder what was said so that it can be addressed in the most helpful way. Then, be sure to follow through.

I'm Outta Here

Leaving might mean finding another job within the company or even leaving the company for seemingly greener pastures. It's also a kind of retribution. "I'll leave you without my skills; then, your lack of trustworthiness will be laid bare for all to see."

Lesson: If one person does a disappearing act yet all is (genuinely) well with everyone else, it may be best to close the book and move on. But when you start to see the resumes hit the street, it's time to talk with each person and determine the underlying issues.

When people don't trust someone, it's common for a group to gang up with others who share those sentiments: "The enemy of my enemy is my friend!"  When this happens, you get groups who start hedging and distancing themselves as entire teams or departments. 
This magnifies the negative impact of those behaviors on the situation.

Lesson: If there's a party and you are the only one not invited, congratulations:  it's probably about you. It's time for a sit-down that may very well call for a great deal of humility on your part and lots of mutual forgiveness to get things back on track.

Note: When you sense any of the above beginning to surface, sit down with people and describe what you are sensing. You may find out you are wrong and that nothing--or something totally different--is happening. 

Experience has shown me that good diagnostic skills are the lifeblood of managers everywhere. So is action. 

Don't wait until you've confirmed your diagnosis in a thousand different ways. Holding out for perfection may prove you correct but you'll show up just in time for the autopsy.

Gotta lay off of those CSI reruns.

Monday, October 24, 2011

8 Ways To Tame A Terrible Boss

Mike Figliuolo  

We've all had them – those bosses we can't stand. They drive us nuts with their micromanaging, bullying, insecurity, or incompetence.

But there's good news – all of them can be managed and made bearable with a little effort on your part.  This post complements the perspectives in 10 Reasons Your Team Hates You and 9 Valid Reasons for Killing a Coworker (yes, this blog gets edgy at times).  Since those put us in countdown mode, allow me to share eight keys to taming a terrible boss.

What I'll do is lay out the archetypical terrible boss, describe some of their symptoms so you can accurately identify them, then offer a tip for managing them and getting them to make your life a little less miserable.

The boss types I'll cover are the micromanager, the bully, the incompetent, the politician, the credit-stealer, the know-it-all, the marshmallow, and the loafer.  Some bosses exhibit multiple symptoms of the above types so understand you might have to employ several of the following techniques to make your life more bearable.  So here they are in no particular order – let's bring on those bad bosses!

The Micromanager

Symptoms: they follow your every move, demand status updates every 38 seconds, and tell you how to perform every single task they've assigned you including how to sharpen your pencils and staple a presentation together.

Tip to Tame: don't avoid them – you'll make it worse. Instead, proactively inform them of status regularly until they get comfortable with your work.  Ask their suggestions on how they want things done before you do them.  Once they know they'll have input and they'll be in the loop, they should back off (assuming you don't screw up your deliverables in which case they'll be in your shorts even worse).  You can also take a look at this post for more thoughts on dealing with control freaks.

The Politician

Symptoms: Willing to chuck you under the bus to save their own skin. Brown-noses any senior exec that will advance their career. Avoids all conflict and rarely takes a stand that they can get "called" on later.

Tip to Tame: Understand their single objective function is their personal advancement.  Help them see how your project will advance their agenda and their career.  Help them understand how much of an asset you are to them in advancing their cause.  But still have your resume ready at all times because they could still chuck you under the bus.  

The Credit-Stealer

Symptoms: "Hey boss, look at this awesome project I did!  No, my team didn't help at all. It's all my own thinking."

Tip to Tame: They just want to look good because they're insecure and they're likely also the Loafer or the Incompetent (see below).  If you try to take all the credit for your own work, it will backfire with this boss.  Instead, when you present or share your work, list your boss prominently as a contributor regardless of how much of the project they personally did.  They did hire you after all, didn't they?  And they gave you the space and resources to do the work, right?  Then give them some credit.  When you give them credit, they're less likely to try to steal some.  

The Know-It-All

Symptoms: "That's not how you do it. You need to do it this way."  Also, they can't ever be taught anything.  Ever.  You will see some symptoms of the Micromanager in this archetype as well.

Tip to Tame: Use the Socratic method. Ask logical questions that lead to the obvious (and only) answer but let your boss arrive at the conclusion.  Sure, it's less satisfying than throwing out the conclusion yourself but all that does is invite conflict and what's really important here is getting to the right answer for the business, right?  Just be sure your boss lets you do the hard work and get credit for executing the idea so everyone else knows the value you bring.

The Incompetent

Symptoms: Derp.  This boss can't lead their way out of a burning one-door outhouse and they have no clue as to how your business runs.

Tip to Tame: Arrange time with them every week to educate them on a new aspect of the business (yes, I'm telling you to train your boss).  Let them know you want to help them succeed and the best way you know how to do that is to give them solid grounding on the business.  Do so in a non-threatening way (try "I know you already know most of this boss but I just want to give you a refresher…").

The Marshmallow

Symptoms: Easily pushed around by more aggressive peers and bosses.  Never takes a stand on anything.  Values peace over progress.

Tip to Tame: Help them win some small victories.  They're a marshmallow because they lack confidence.  Set them up to succeed in an argument.  Make it small stakes but give them a ton of ammunition to win the battle.  Arm them with data, facts, conclusions, and insights.  After a few small victories and seeing the benefits that inure to their organization, your boss might sprout a spine.

The Loafer

Symptoms: Stacks of paperwork awaiting action cover their desk.  They sit in the back of all meetings and don't contribute.  They let their team clean up their messes.  Note: the Loafer could turn into the Credit-Stealer if provoked and threatened.

Tip to Tame: Rather than throwing everything their way, give them only the most critical of tasks to complete that only they are capable of completing.  Be transparent about it too – "Hey boss, I know you're crazy busy so I'm not gonna bother you with things you don't need to do.  I just need you to do this ONE thing because you're the only one who can."  Appealing to their inner sloth (less work) combined with the ego stroke should get them to focus long enough to do the occasional project.

The Bully

Symptoms: Yells, insults, belittles. Might use bronzer and gel. Threatens unemployment.

Tip to Tame: Some bullies need a beatdown.  First, provide feedback and let them know you feel threatened. Second, include them in your reindeer games – bullies bully people because they're mad and often feel left out.  Third, if those two don't work, have a sit-down with HR over the issue.  For more tips on dealing with workplace bullies.

The Bottom Line
Bad bosses suck but the only thing that sucks more is doing nothing about it.  Step up.  Fix things.  Work with your boss to help them improve.  They don't want to be a bad boss – they just might not know any better.  Remember – at some point they made you a job offer and you eagerly accepted because you wanted to work with them.  Find that excitement again and go help your boss be a better leader. 

Sunday, October 23, 2011

अन्तरबार्तामा सोधिने गाह्रो प्रस्न : हामीले हजुरलाई किन चयन / हायर गर्ने ?

सबै जसो जागिर खोज्ने मानिसलाइ  सोधिने अलिकति खतरा / गार्हो प्रस्न हो | यो प्रस्नको उत्तर हरेक अन्तर्वार्ता दिने उम्मेदवार ले दिनु नै पर्ने हुन्छ तर कसरि यसको उत्तर दिने भन्ने कुरा महत्वपूर्ण हो | यो प्रस्न लाइ यसरि फ्रेम गर्नुस अथवा यसको उत्तर यस्तो दिनुस कि यसको उत्तर ले नै हजुर आफैलाइ बेच्नु सकोस वा यसको उत्तरले नै जुन मौका हेर्दै हुनुहुन्छ त्यसको ढोका खुल्ला होस्

अन्तरबार्ताको समयमा , हजुरको बोल्ने तरिका, शारीरिक क्रियाकलापहरु सबै भन्दा महत्वपुर्ण कुरा रहनेछ | जब हजुरले यस प्रस्नको उत्तर दिनुहुन्छ त्यस समय मा आफ्नो बोल्ने तरिकामा ध्यान दिनुपर्छ, यहाँ गएर धेरै मानिसहरु असफल हुने गर्दछन् | जसले गर्दा हजुरले  जागिर पाउने सम्भावना   मौका एकदमै कम हुने गर्दछ | त्यसैले गर्दा  यो प्रस्नको उत्तर दिने समय आफ्नो पुरै ध्यान यसमा नै दिनु पर्ने हुन्छ

त्यसैले यसलाई सफल बनाउन को लागि उत्तर दिने क्रममा यसलाई सकारात्मक महत्वपुर्ण ठानेर हल्का हाँसोको साथ उत्तर  दिनुपर्ने हुन्छ | जे जस्तो उत्तर दिनुहुन्छ , यो मेरो उत्तर ठिक भन्ने ढुक्कताका साथ दिनु पर्छ

बोलीको लागि मात्रै नभएर , साच्चिकै यो प्रस्नको उत्तर कस्तो दिनुहुन्छ ?

 गाह्रो प्रस्नको उत्तर दिने तरिका : हजुरलाइ यो कुरा थाहा हुनुपर्छ कि हजुरमा भएको क्षमता अथवा पहिला काम गरेको ठाउँबाट सिकेको कुराहरु नया ठाउमा  प्रयोग गर्न सक्नु हुन्छ कि हुदैन | जस्तै उदाहरणको लागि , यदि हजुरले कम्प्युटरसम्बन्धि राम्रो ज्ञान हासिल गर्नु भएको भने यसबाट हजुरको कम्पनिले फाइदा लिन सकोस | त्यसैले केहि समय लिनुस आफुमा भएको क्षमताहरु के के त्यो पत्ता लगाउनुहोस| यिनै क्षमताहरुले गर्दा नै हजुर कुनै पनि कम्पनीको लागि एउटा महत्वपुर्ण सम्पति बन्न सक्नुहुन्छ

उत्तर दिने अर्को पाटोमा हजुरको त्यो कामसंग भएको अनुभव पनि महत्वपुर्ण रहने गर्दछ | हजुरले पहिले गरेको कामको अनुभवले जुन पोस्टको लागि जानुभएको त्यो भन्दा बढी क्षमता भनेर देखाउन  सक्नुपर्ने हुन्छ |

 तर पहिले पनि अरु कम्पनीसंग  यहि  काम गरेको भन्ने प्रयास गर्नु पर्दैन , यसको सट्टा आफ्नो बितेको समयमा गरेको कामले अहिलेको काममा फरक  तरिकाले आफ्नो भूमिका निर्बाह गर्छु भनेर देखाउनु पर्छ |

अन्तिममा , यो कुरा याद गर्नुपर्ने हुन्छ कि यो प्रस्न त्यति महत्वपुर्ण जुन प्रस्न को उत्तरले हजुरले आफुँलाइ सेल गर्नु पर्नेछ |

अन्तरबार्ता भनेको त्यो पहिलो ढोका हो जसले आफ्नो करियरको बाटो खोल्छ, त्यसैले प्रतिस्पर्धाको लागि पहिले नै तयार हुनुपर्छ